Ask Alison: My husband agreed to help me breastfeed. Help me!

Q: I have a 3 month old baby and am having trouble breastfeeding. I am determined to do this because I want the baby to have the best possible start. But recently, she’s started suggesting that it’s time to switch to bottles and that we need to start living for ourselves again.

H.She also said it interfered with her bonding with the baby. I feel betrayed by these two.

Her sister had never breastfed and always felt that she viewed my decision to exclusively breastfeed as a criticism of her as a mother. I want to confront him but I feel very sensitive. How can I trust him and keep my mother-in-law at home? I am very angry with Help me!

.Allison responds: Oh, there are many. First of all, I am so sorry that you felt betrayed and unsupported. Breastfeeding is hard enough without being judged or talked about behind the scenes. I understand your frustration.It’s been 3 months and you want it so much for your baby and yourself.Making it feel as important as you care something.

This is part of the betrayal. I felt like this was something you and your husband agreed on as a couple, as new parents, and as a family. Her support and encouragement were essential in establishing breastfeeding.

Even if you casually say that you “fought a little”, it reflects your anxiety knowing that being open about what it is will give others who are not breastfeeding in the next circle. doing.

I remember being in the fog of breastfeeding. Talking to other mothers who are trying to breastfeed can help on many levels. Be with a supportive person or group who can provide financial advice and emotional support. It’s like being with someone who speaks the same language as you instead of defending yourself in front of others. i will get back to him

I need hands-on help. What kind of support can I get?

Let’s take a look at the psychology of why your aunt and mother aren’t bottle-fed like they were. Before you have a child, during sleepless nights, you learn how your parenting choices affect other parents who may feel rejected if you don’t do the same. I was not informed.

Parenting is highly individual, based on our values, family experiences, attachment styles, and the norms we were raised with about how to be and be a mother. It is unconscious and is often a hindrance to relationships. Because you think your way is the “right way”. The more correct answer is that both ways are the best known. If this goes back to your father-in-law, back then it was more common not to breastfeed, and mothers could openly determine whether they were breastfeeding or not.

Take a thoughtful step and we will hear you. You are too nervous to tell your husband that he saw the text. You have several options. Or you could say you feel judged by your mother and aunt. Add how you feel your thoughts have changed about important decisions you’ve made together, and ask if it supports her behavior and breastfeeding.

I think we need frank, honest, and open conversations. Explore the limits of what you share with your family. It’s important that he feels that strict boundaries aren’t healthy and that he can get support from his family, but outside of the privilege of his intimate circle as a couple, respectfully express what he feels. It is also important not to share.

This is the main stage of change and adaptation. Considering you look so sensitive, do I want to check you out? Being a new parent happens on every level. Personality changes occur physically, mentally, and emotionally. I often point to the great loss of trust that mothers experience after giving birth.

Even if you are having a free day or are fed up with breastfeeding, do not disclose personal information if you feel comfortable with what you are sharing and believe it will serve as additional support for external stimuli. I would like to trust .

I understand that your mother-in-law is angry with you. Have an honest discussion with her husband. This can be difficult, but see how she feels baby when she also wants to bond with you. Once you know how, you can easily do what you need to do outside of breastfeeding. This may set you up as a withdrawn parent.

A lot is happening. Be self-aware, analyze your feelings, and talk to her husband to feel mutual support and connection. It’s a busy and difficult time, but it’s also a time to figure out what kind of parent you want to be, in order to forgive your many mistakes, your patience, and your kindness.

Alison regrets not having access to the correspondence. Send me an email if you have a question you’d like me to cover in this column. [email protected]

Author: Allison Keating

Source: Belfast Telegraph





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